The first step on any journey toward something IS NOT the most obvious step toward its direction.
Sound contradictory?
Maybe not...
The first step in attaining something should be your full 100% confidence in yourself that when you do attain it you will enrich it, make VERY good use of it, or make it grow substantially.
Let me explain.
I would love to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. If there was an e-book or a DVD program outlining step-by-step how to go about it and do it, I would surely buy it and put it into practice right away.
However, even if I followed the directions exactly to the point AND the advice in the program was 100% legit, at this point in time I would probably not be able to attain the end goal the program promised.
Why?
Quite simply, if I was to take over one of those large companies today, they would surely go bankrupt in a few weeks time.
EVEN though I wouldn't MEAN to do it.
They would surely go down in flames, let me assure you. I don't even do my own tax returns, let alone give the green light to the accountants who would be dealing with millions or billions of dollars.
At this point in time, EVEN if I was handed over the job like that from a good friend, I would turn it down.
Am I crazy you ask? Not at all.
All I have to do is think of all the families and lives I would destroy from taking the position and crumbling the company down.
The same applies when you are out searching for people to bring into your life (coincidentally enough!)
Whether for a night, a week, a year or a lifetime.
If they were to put their life into your hands for whatever period of time, would you enrich it? Make them grow a little? A lot?
Or at the very least - make them enjoy themselves having a very good time with you?
(remember the good old saying "leave them better than you've found them"?)
Note that the above intentions can not co-exist with your personal motives like:
1. Wanting to show off your ability to get a one-night stand in front of your friends.
2. Proving to yourself that you can get girls of a certain caliber.
3. Essentially showing off to everyone that you can get a hot chick.
When you keep your focus and attention on HER Benefits instead of yours, you will attain an unshakable confidence about you which is far more noticeable than boldness.
"That's great," you say, "but what if I can't get to the point where we both sit down so she can start to see that I am capable of giving her all this and that I actually want to give it to her?"
Well, if you're out and about, in any social setting talking to a girl, it means you are
1. With her
2. Talking with her
3. either a) Around her friends
or b) Around your friends
What else do you need/want?
The only thing that's different from her and a girlfriend you already know is time.
In other words, right after you Open her, there's no time like the present to start showing her a good time! Why wait?
If she's unresponsive, treat her just like you would any other friend who is unresponsive to your behaviour. It's like, "OOPS."
If you're getting a long string of bad responses, admit that you might not be someone who they want around. Oops, whatever.
Adam, one of my really good friends from London, is hands down one of the best socializers in the world. (I substitute what people would usually call a PUA/Seducer/Don Juan with the word 'socializer' instead)
"I start in Comfort," he says referring to the commonly accepted model of seduction that you must first attain attraction before you try for comfort, "If I'm actively trying to show her that I am someone worth meeting, I would be subtly communicating that I am NOT someone worth meeting unless I let her know verbally. I can accomplish all that by simply making her laugh!"
I whole-heartedly agree with Adam on this one, as you are shooting yourself in the foot if you feel the need to actually actively show people you are someone of high value.
People of high value do not go around demonstrating their high value left, right and center.
Actually, after meeting a few of them and hearing about so many others and their attitudes, they NEVER bring out their character traits and possessions or whatever else that make them high value, and actually almost ALWAYS downplay themselves while bringing out the best out of people around them...
And I don't want to prove to anyone that I am someone they want to know. If I am, then I am. If I'm not, well, then I'm not. I'm still going to make them bust a gut.
So, the first step...
Ask yourself honestly - are you a person you would like if you were to meet yourself? What if you were to meet your clone, except he liked, and disliked everything the opposite of you? Would you still like him?
Think about it...
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